Adam and Bettie came with me to my first midwife appointment at UNC. Bettie got FREAKED out when they took my blood pressure and weighed me. She didn't want anyone touching me. It was kind of flattering in a sad way that she was so protective. I hated seeing her so upset.
The midwife was nice enough. We talked about my birth trauma with Bettie (and as usual, I broke down into tears) and she told me about the hospital policies--continuous fetal monitoring, heplock, etc. I hated the idea of the required "stuff", but was encouraged by her attitude towards birth. She didn't think twice about natural VBAC. She didn't dwell on the negative aspects or the horrible things that could happen. It was refreshing. I felt good leaving the office.
On the drive back home (and it was a drive...40 minutes) I started getting nervous. I knew that when I went into labor, I wanted to wait as long as I could before going to the hospital. That drive started seeming even longer. I started thinking about Bettie and the fact that she'd be at least 40 minutes away from me. I thought about how long it would take for Adam to drive back to Cary to get her and then come back. It started a big ball of worry in my stomach.
I had to find an alternative. I knew there was a practice in Cary called Triangle OBGYN that had midwives. In fact, one of my doula clients was a patient there and had an amazing midwife for her birth. The downside was, they had terrible reviews on the web and the first time I called, I got put on hold and no one ever came back on the line. The upside was the fact that they delivered at a hospital about 5 minutes from my house. To me, despite crappy reviews and customer service (initially), that was going to be the best option.
I made an appointment for a Friday. That Thursday I started feeling crampy and twingy. I'd had a lot of stress at work and was afraid that I might be having preterm labor. I called Triangle OB and they got me in. I got to see a fabulous midwife named Jessica, and she put my mind at ease. During that visit, my cervix was showing signs of funneling (dilating from the inside), but it was still closed, so that was a positive. She told me that I needed to take it easy, and that she'd see me the next day for my official first appointment.
That first appointment took FOREVER. Their waiting room was crammed full of pregnant women, so I had to wait for over 35 minutes. The appointment itself was pretty good. I saw Jessica again and was told that I'd have to see an OB during the next visit to get cleared to have a VBAC. I was okay with that. It seemed I had finally found a practice I could deal with.
During my next visit, I saw a female OB. Her bedside manner was only okay. She asked me about the exercise I was getting and flipped out when I told her I was running. She told me to stop running immediately and move on to something lower impact. She cleared my VBAC, but I wasn't fond of her.
I still hadn't completely abandoned hope of a home waterbirth, so having had an appointment with that female OB (and not being 100% thrilled with her), I reached back out to the first home birth midwife, Nancy. She told me she was still seeing VBAC patients and she'd love to see me again.
I met with her and her assistant and was back in love with the idea of home birth. Things seemed to finally be working out. She told me that I could continue with Triangle OB because if something happened during the home birth and I needed hospital care, it would be a good idea to have a practice familiar with me on standby. Plus, Triangle could do any labs or ultrasounds that might be necessary. I was okay with that. I was paying Nancy out of pocket and insurance was picking up my Triangle visits.
Nancy knew I was seeing Triangle, but I didn't tell the folks at Triangle I was planning on home birthing. I knew I'd be bombarded with negativity, so it didn't seem worth it. I was also worried that I might go into labor before 37 weeks, and if that happened, home birth wouldn't be an option anyway, so I was happily prepared no matter what the outcome.
